Being a part of a co-living community is more than rules about how we are going to keep the kitchen clean. Co-living is a communal experience that helps many people thrive through shared space and shared experiences. Whatever you do, or a fellow Member does, could potentially impact others. Knowing this, there are expectations on how we agree to take care of each other:

1.   Be A Good Friend – We all heard as kids if you want to make good friends, start by being a good friend. In other words, treat others as you’d like to be treated. Reacting in anger or showing petty actions will be harmful to you. Instead, find ways to make deposits in your relationships with others.  At some point you’ll need to make a withdrawal, so you’ll need some goodwill built up already. 

2.   Expect Conflict To Happen – Nobody ever gets along with everyone, all the time. You should expect that you will have conflict with a housemate at some point.  Your goal though is to find ways to exercise healthy conflict. Know that the person you are in conflict with has the same expectations given them and signed up for the same in return. So, if you see their actions manifest something different than “good intent”, then chances are you might be missing something.  This is a good opportunity to outline to the other person, for example, “I know we both agreed and want the kitchen clean before we go to bed, but I saw dishes from last night still piled up, which made me think I must be missing something and wanted to ask for better understanding” 

3.   Engage –We’ve all encountered a time when something was misinterpreted as tone is never conveyed via text.  Take the time to talk it out, preferably in person, in a calm deliberate manner where you come seeing understanding, not a pound of flesh.

4.   Come To Listen – Your opinion is important, and so is theirs.  The biggest conflicts we encounter are often people simply not being heard. If you have something to share, share it properly. But then prepare to listen, without reaction, until the other person has made their points.  Let them be heard as much as you want to be heard. 

5.   Own Your Mistake – We all make them, and usually just because you caught us at a bad time (tired, hungry, other things on your mind, etc.).  If you recognize what you could have done better, bring it to the table. If confronted with your mistake by a housemate, don’t deflect (i.e., well you did this…). Owning it goes a long way in reconciling. 

6.   Address Each Other With Respect – On the job, once a person stoops to personal attacks, name calling, or loses their temper, they automatically loose. If not their point or even the argument, they lose face. This is the same for your personal life and particularly true with housemates. If you can’t do it in the moment, take a time out and talk later.

7.   Gossip Is Poison – Gossip is discussing anything negative with someone who can’t help solve the issue at hand.  Gossip is unfair to everyone involved. It’s unfair to the gossipers because they must toil in a problem situation with no hope of resolution. It’s unfair to others who hear the gossip because it undermines passion for where they live. Last, it’s unfair to the person being gossiped about as everyone wants the opportunity to address grievances. If there is something negative to say, exercise healthy conflict and discuss it directly with the owner of that issue.

8.   Engage Early – We often refer to this as “Kill The Baby Monster”.  When issues are small, they are easy to address.  When you let them stockpile, and you let the monster grow, it festers into a larger conflict that could have been easily resolved.  Exercise the healthy conflict muscle here. 

9.   Escalated Problems/ Issues with Other Members:  Before escalating it to the property manager, make sure you’ve followed all the items above. Any unresolved issues that Member may have with other Members must be brought to the attention of Owner prior to taking any legal action.  Any Member may initially address the issue(s) with the Owner, and Owner agrees to have a consultation with all Member(s) involved and act as the mediator to resolve the dispute. 

See also Membership Rules