We understand that co-living can sometimes be challenging. At times, you'll run into problems with your housemates. Common problems include:

• Food being eaten by another Member
• Messiness by another Member
• Rudeness from another Member

It is not unreasonable (although it is uncommon) to find 2-3 people in a house that at best get on each other’s nerves and at worse don’t get a long. A vast majority of the time when people don’t get a long in a house it comes down to them not getting off on the right foot. Maybe one person doesn’t know the rules well and oversteps boundaries, makes a joke that lands poorly, or was just in a bad mood that day. And maybe it hits the other person in an egregious way and both parties throw up their hands saying “I can’t live with him”.

This is why we established the Resident & Guest Commitments in the lease. 

Rule 1: Be a good friend - asserting someone did something wrong without proof, calling names, course language, making treats, harboring issues for months, not finding common ground, and generally making someone else in the house feel unsafe in any definition is not a good way to be a friend.

Rule 2: Expect conflict to happen - to think there is never conflict in the house is wrong; conflict is inevitable in life itself. It’s what you do when conflict happens that's important. But just because there is conflict doesn’t mean it has a purpose or intent to damage you. Conflict is a path to resolution.

Rule 3: Engage - When someone breaks Rule 1, don’t expect the worst. Engage the other person immediately (don’t harbor for months) to understand more about it, where they’re coming from, and give that person the opportunity to apologize or make amends if needed. 

Examples:

• Hey, I feel that we didn’t get off on a good start and that’s not what I’m looking for. How can we reset this situation between us?
• Hey, I think when I said/asked X in the kitchen, I was assuming too much, overstepping boundaries, or just reacting. I’m better than that I’m sorry. How do we restart?
• Hey, I sometimes the way I live my life or how I come across in life throws people off and I’m aware of that. How can better start off good footing?

We encourage our Members who might be having problems to talk it out with their housemates. Most people are just unaware of their actions and how they are impacting you and most of the time a simple conversation can solve the problem.